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> 2025-02-12 - Reflections on Growth

It's been a weird month since I last wrote @_@;

WORLD EVENTS & ISOLATION

An injury has had me working from home for about a month straight, and it began right before inauguration. I haven't seen many people IRL for a minute, and the relentless news cycle had me freaking out. Once I was able to take one walk, though, I recognized how much of the vitriol is condensed into online spaces, and how plenty of people seem to have a very reasonable grasp on reality.

I'm choosing to maintain faith in humanity's better nature and our historical resilience. It may be a bumpy ride, but we've got to keep a good destination in mind.

Also worth mentioning, I decided to delete my IG as well. I was going to keep it active for my art, but I've pulled back due to the owning company's position as an oligarch. People are content on social media, and I'm not on their payroll. I'm privileged to say I don't depend on my art for my wellbeing, so the decision was easier for me than it may be for many others. Please keep in touch with me here or That Hellsite!

ARTIST RADAR

I'm about finished with 3 of the 4 tracks needed for "love letters, vol.2!" The latest addition to the mix is Margaritaville. It's been so fun playing with vocals that I finally cashed out some streaming revenue for a better mic! I'm looking forward to exploring vocals as a new instrument. For the last track, I'm thinking the "Steel Samurai" theme from the Ace Attorney series. I've got some bare bones laid out, so I'm looking forward to having more fun with the arrangement! (^w^)/:musical_note:

Regarding "LOVE FOR YOUR LIFE," I've decided that I'll release parts of it in bursts and add the tracks to an official playlist. That way, I don't have to make or release them in any particular order, allowing ongoing creative freedom and a low-pressure release schedule. I have a track called "REAR VIEW MIRROR" I plan to release once the dust settles on "love letters, vol.2," so keep an eye out! (0w0)

INTEGRITY AND GROWTH

The isolation this past month has forced me to grapple with my more insidious people-pleasing tendencies, beliefs, and behaviors. I recognize now that, in my formative years, I was taught to prioritize the feelings of others over my own wellbeing and self-esteem. Accepting this part of myself now, I've been making a better effort to stand up for myself and not pre-emptively make myself smaller to keep people comfortable. That also means not accepting the roles assigned to me in other peoples' stories.

I know who I am, what I stand for, and where my heart is. I'm going to foster an environment and relationships that see me for who I am as well as communicate openly and candidly with me on disagreements. I've spend enough of my life tiptoeing around people to keep the peace, but that's no way for me to live. I'm looking forward to a new chapter in my life!

IN CONCLUSION

Despite everything going on in the macro and micro levels, I'm grateful to reconnect with my optimism. I'll continue to do my best to do right by the people in my life while standing up for myself and my values. I'll also continue to find joy in art, reading, nature, and camaraderie. I return to that which I know to be true.

Take care, and bye for now! (^o^)/